Pretty Women
by x Rajah x
Summary: PostRENT MARKROGER FRIENDSHIP. Mark is being particularly bitter one day about his lack of a girlfriend, and it doesn't help that Roger has a date with Mimi later on. It seems that Mark still has to get over Maureen! Songfic to Sweeney Todd. R&R please!


Title: Pretty Women

Genre: Humor/Friendship

Summary: PostRENT. Mark's feeling particularly bitter one day about his lack of a girlfriend, which is only made worse by the fact that Roger's got a date with Mimi later on. But Mark must get over Maureen before anything! A MarkRoger FRIENDSHIP songfic to "Pretty Women" from Sweeney Todd.

Notes:

Rawr. Sweeney. I love it.

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"What are you smiling about?" Mark asked his roommate, annoyed. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Yes, you do... eyes, a nose... a mouth, the whitest skin in the Northern Hemisphere... some eyebrows..." Roger answered, leaning back in his chair, still grinning.

"Roger. You don't even know what a hemisphere is." Mark said seriously, plopping himself on the couch.

"Yes I do!" Roger shot back indignantly.

"What is it, then?"

"Um... well, it's something... it's like... well, hm... it's..."

"Stop trying." Mark interrupted.

Roger threw back his head, laughing. Mark watched him, bemused. "What is your problem today?"

"Since when is being happy a problem?" He fired back, reaching for his mug of coffee.

"Since you recite the parts of my face to me." Mark replied hastily.

"Aw, come on... Mark, I was just having some fun... that didn't bother you that much." Roger said, shoving Mark playfully. "I mean, damn, Collins is right about you, you gotta lighten up a bit." Then he paused, watching Mark as he continued to wonder. "I have a date with Mimi tonight."

Mark shook his head, sighing. He took a sip of his own coffee, and responded slowly, "I'm sorry, I guess... I suppose I'm just not in the mood for your nonsense today, Roger."

"Are you ever?"

"Not really." Mark told him truthfully.

"Good. That's why I keep the nonsense coming." Roger said, putting down his mug and sitting up straight, looking his friend in the eye. "What's got your panties in a bunch today, Marky? That time of month again?"

"Roger." Mark stated, closing his eyes. "I just said I wasn't in the mood."

"Damn PMS, I'll go tell Mimi, she'll know what to do..." Roger was saying.

"ROGER!" Mark raised his voice, and roger sat back down, squinting one eye at his friend while sticking his chin out. "Damn it, Roger, you get a fkg F in the area of pure human understanding!"

"I get a 'fucking F' in nearly everything." Roger replied nonchalantly. "Trouble is I never apply myself... it's actually quite common. I'm a secret genius, just you wait and someday you'll see..."

"Shut up!" Mark nearly yelled.

"Ah, I'm sorry Mark, but I get a 'fucking F' in the category of Shutting Up too." Roger said with a straight face.

"Well, DUH! I knew that...gaaahh!" Mark stood up and began to pace. "Why do you do this to me?"

"Easy, Mark...I was just trying to cheer you up, make you feel better." Roger assured his roommate.

"Well it's not working."

"You never told me what was wrong to begin with." He pointed out.

Mark sighed again, deep and long. "It's embarrassing...but..."

"Everything with you is." Roger said, almost warmly.

Mark felt like growling. "Can I continue?"

"Be my guest."

"Anyway... I suppose I'm sort of... well, jealous of you."

"Well, that's stupid." Roger said slowly. "Damn, Mark. That's a high school thing. I was always more popular, especially among the ladies..."

"Exactly." Mark cut in. "And you still are."

Roger cocked his head to one side. "So what? It's always been like that!"

"I know! That's exactly the problem!" Mark replied vehemently.

"Well, what do you want me to do, Mark? Smash my flawless face in a car door and become ugly? Stop showering and look and smell like shit? Become practiced in the ways of cheesy yet sleazy pick-up lines?"

Mark put down his coffee, thinking. "No...well, I guess it's just that... I feel like I'm back in that same place I was... no progress at all. You're going out tonight with Mimi and I'm alone, again."

"And this is my fault?" Roger asked quietly. "Wait a minute, Mark... are you mad at me for being hot?"

"No!" Mark said, putting his head into his palm. "Shit, Roger! I just wish I had a girlfriend too for once... I mean, those days, back when you had April and I had Maureen... I miss that."

Roger looked thoughtful. "So... what exactly would you like me to do? Set you up on a blind date? Dress in drag and do the hula?"

Mark yawned silently. "Seen it all before."

Roger nodded, still pondering. "Well then, I got nothin', Mark."

Mark sat back, looking defeated and weary. "I'm sorry, Roger... I didn't mean to snap at you, it wasn't right. I hope you have fun tonight with Mimi."

"Oh, I will." Roger said ominously, coaxing a tiny smile from Mark.

"AHA!" Roger shouted. "You smiled! I'm off the hook!"

Mark sobered up instantly. "Well, thanks for trying. I'll figure something out... I'll get a girlfriend somehow."

'Sure you will." Roger said sarcastically. When Mark frowned, he said cheerily, "I mean, sure you will!"

Mark nodded. "Sure I will..." he repeated numbly.

"You still miss Maureen." Roger noted abruptly.

"What? No, I don't!" Mark said, a bit too quickly and hotly.

"You do." Roger said, shaking his index finger and stroking his chin. "I know you do."

Mark slumped his shoulders, giving up.

"Well, then..." The rocker rose and walked in a complete circle around Mark. "I suppose the first thing you should do is get over Maureen if you want a new girl..."

"I can't." Mark said flatly. "You don't understand, Roger. Men don't just 'get over' Maureen Johnson."

"Especially when those men are dumped for women." Roger mused softly.

"Not helping."

"Right... sorry."

"It's just that... Rog, from the moment I met Maureen... I was still young but, Roger, I loved her then, I think. I didn't know it, but I did! Maureen's always been the only woman I thought of..."

"What about Nanette Himmelfarb?" Roger teased, receiving a glare.

"Nanette was a little crush. Teenage hormones, nothing more. Maureen was my first and only love." Mark said decidedly. "You don't get over your first love easily... especially if she's Maureen."

"That's deep, Mark, real deep." Roger said after a moment of pause. "Have you thought of anyone but Maureen since Joanne came into the picture?"

"I can't think of anyone else. If I even tried to look at another woman and feel attracted to her... I would see her face, Roger. I'd see Maureen's lips, her hair, her eyes... her beautiful face."

"Ah, yes. Pretty women... that which delights and confounds every man." Roger stated intelligently.

Mark looked up, startled. "Whoa. Roger... where'd that come from?"

"I don't know... maybe I read it somewhere."

"I didn't know you could read."

"Oh, ouch." Roger said with a snort. "Listen Mark, Maureen was crazy... is crazy. You should be relieved. Think of the stress Joanne has on her plate now!"

"She is crazy..." Mark agreed distantly. "The pretty ones always are."

Roger stopped mid-step and sat back into the chair, pointing a finger at Mark. "Now there's a statement of truth."

"Pretty women..." Mark muttered.

Roger glanced at the window, thinking. Then, on a whim he turned to Mark, smiling brightly again. "Pretty women..." He sang slowly. "Fascinating..."

Mark looked up, amused.

"Sipping coffee...dancing... pretty women." Roger continued, moving to the window and letting his eyes wander down the fire escape to Mimi's apartment. "Pretty women, are a wonder. Pretty women!"

"Sitting in the window or standing on the stair," Mark joined in from the couch. "Something in them cheers the air..."

"Pretty women..." Roger began. "Silhouetted..."

"Stay within you, glancing... stay forever," Mark added, thinking of Maureen." Breathing lightly..."

"Pretty women, pretty women!" They chorused together.

"Blowing out their candles," Roger said, remembering with a smile.

"Or combing out their hair," Mark nearly whispered, standing and meeting Roger. "Even when they leave, they still are there."

"They're there." Roger agreed quietly.

"Ah! Pretty women, at their mirrors," Mark invented wildly, "In their gardens, letter-writing, flower-picking, weather-watching..."

"How they make a man sing!" Roger and Mark sang together, looking out the window.

"Proof of heaven as you're living," Roger said, then grabbed for his cup again.

"Pretty women!"

"Yes, pretty women!"

"Here's to pretty women," Mark toasted, and they drank a sip.

"Pretty women, pretty women, pretty women!" They finished, chuckling.

Roger leaned back against the dusty pane as Mark continued.

"And though I'll think of you, I guess... until the day I die." Mark sang quietly, "I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by... Maureen."

Roger watched almost proudly, cradling his coffee in his hands. Mark looked on silently as passerby went along the street below. "And you'll be beautiful as ever as you run along to her... if only angels could prevail, we'd be the way we were, Maureen..." Then he knitted his brows, determined. "Wake up, Maureen! Another brand new day! We learn, Maureen... to say... "

There was a second's pause.

"Goodbye..."

"Nice, man." Roger clapped his friend on the back. "Now, can I commence being hot and going on a date with Mimi?"

Mark laughed, cracking a real grin. "Have fun, Rog."

"Oh, I will."

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So... the wonderful song "Pretty Women" with a little bit of "Johanna (2)" (revised to fit MAUREEN!) thrown into the ending.

You like? I just got the soundtrack and have seen the Sweeney movie twice, yay! I love it.

So... I might try another Sweeney songfic, I'm not sure. It's rather hard to relate at times, understandably, but some of the lyrics in this one were too good to pass up for Marky and Roger. Any suggestions?

And tell me what you thought!

[Virtual cookies to anyone who can identify: either the Lion King reference or the Simpsons Movie reference or both!


End file.
